Rites of Spring (Break) Page 4

  Lunch

  What the asker angles for if he or she can’t get the other Party to agree to to a real date, or even a Dining Hall Dinner.

  So aboveboard, it’s sickening. Might as well have a sign saying, “Nothing see here, just grabbing a bite before our next class.” Possibility of sitting with friends: medium.

  “Sounds good,” I said. “Remember to bring your apps.”

  After we’d said our good-byes, I unearthed my applications from my pile of start-of-term paperwork and attempted to make it look as if I’d been doing serious work on them for the last few weeks. I made little headway, however, as my brain’s computing power was focused on Josh and Lydia and what they’d been saying about me. Naturally, it’s far worse to hear unpleasant things about yourself from people you know love you, because they aren’t saying it to be mean, nor are they prejudiced against your shimmering personality. No, your friends are telling the truth that you know deep down anyway—and my friends were saying I sucked at romance. To the point that they wouldn’t even try to set me up on a date. Wouldn’t risk subjecting their other friends to the horror that is me.

  Cheer up, Amy. It’s not like this is anything new. I am well aware of my limitations when it comes to forming healthy relationships with the opposite sex. It’s why I’d tried to keep Brandon at arm’s length to start with. I knew getting involved with him would wreck our friendship, and it had. Last year at this time, he’d been buying me dinners at Thai restaurants. This year, I was braving my way through a cafeteria lunch where he had home-court advantage.

  And I wouldn’t even have the comfort of my favorite pair of sneakers.

  Later, when I headed to the bathroom to brush my teeth, I noticed that Lydia and Josh were nowhere to be seen, and later still when I tucked myself into my narrow, extra-long single dorm bed, I heard them whispering softly through our shared wall.

  Had things gone differently, would it be Brandon and me whispering late into the night? Would we still be together if I hadn’t accepted the tap from Rose & Grave? Would I be planning a career in publishing instead of looking at graduate fellowships? Would we be booking flights to Barcelona for an extended double date with Lydia and Josh?

  Stupid to play what if games! I loved being a Digger. I loved my brothers, and the tomb, and the activities. I loved our tricks, and our raids, and our silly society games. I loved everything I’d learned about myself as a result of joining Rose & Grave.

  But right then, one room away, there were people in love, and I’d never felt so alone in my life.

  3.

  Conspiracy

  * * *

  Since my morning lecture in the English department building ended at eleven-thirty, I had the dubious pleasure of cooling my heels in the Rose & Grave tomb for half an hour before I was due to meet Brandon around the corner at Calvin College. I spent the time whipping myself into a frenzy of nerves and second-guessing my choice of outfit—which, Josh would be pleased to know, did not include my yellow sneakers. I fully admit that I’d dressed with more care than usual this morning, and even blow-dried my hair to give it extra body and shine.

  After all, when one hangs out with one’s ex, it’s important to look as stunning as possible.

  I wonder if boys even notice the machinations we go through on their behalf? Are they aware of the subtle but significant difference between your everyday jeans and your very best pair, the fact that this particular color scarf makes your eyes look green, or the light layer of mascara designed to enhance the entire ocular region? Back when Brandon and I were an item, he’d been known to tackle me on occasions where I was wearing sweatpants and fluffy socks, so my guess is that he doesn’t care at all.

  Bummer.

  I repeatedly checked my watch, the face of the grandfather clock in the Grand Library, and the digital readout on the room’s single computer screen, until they all agreed that it was time for me to head out. Exiting the Diggers’ tomb mid-day is a somewhat delicate operation, but in my tenure as a member, I’d figured out the trick of it, and managed to escape the property undetected by any of the barbarian students milling around the Art History building.

  Brandon was waiting for me in the Calvin College common room. I pasted an awkward smile on my face in preparation for the inevitable awkward hug.

  But when it came, it wasn’t awkward in the least. Brandon enfolded me in his arms and dropped his chin onto my shoulder and I almost gasped from the sudden, overwhelming sensation of fitting. With it came the memories: how Brandon wasn’t all that much taller than me and I hadn’t had to tilt my head up to kiss him; how every curve of his body seemed to fit perfectly against mine. I stiffened, steeling myself against the impulse to press against him, and pulled away. “Lunch?”

  We engaged in idle chitchat all the way through the cafeteria line and the salad bar, and then Brandon directed me to an out-of-the-way table with only two chairs. Well, that answered my first question. We wouldn’t be sitting with his buddies.

  As soon as we got settled, Brandon launched into a description of the various programs he planned on applying to and I responded in kind, all the while wondering how he expected me to know anything about what universities were looking for in a candidate for their Applied Math programs. I hadn’t taken a math class since high school. I’d earned all my Group Four—Eli-speak for science and math—credits in the natural sciences. What use would I be to him reviewing his applications? What was I even doing here?

  “…though I really like the work they’re doing at the Courant Institute,” he was saying.

  I shook my head. “I’m sorry, Courant is where, now?”

  “NYU, Amy.”

  “Right. Well, the one where you go to study in Antarctica sounded—”

  Whoosh! A deluge of icy liquid spilled over me, soaking my hair, my clothes, everything! I jumped, but not quickly enough to dodge the shower of soda, pink lemonade, water, and juice.

  “Oops,” said a smug voice behind me as I yelped. Antarctica, indeed. I whirled around, to see an unfamiliar kid standing above me, holding a tray covered in about ten tipped-over, extra-large dining hall glasses and the remains of their liquid contents.

  The dining hall went silent as everyone directed their attention to our table. So much for flying under the radar.

  Brandon had yanked a wad of napkins from the dispenser and was trying to mitigate the worst of the mess. “Say you’re sorry, jerk, and give us a hand.”

  The guy shrugged. “You probably shouldn’t have left your bag in the aisle.”

  I held my sticky, frigid shirt away from my chest and tried to mop up the puddle in my lap. “My bag?” I looked down and discovered that the damage to my person was nothing compared to what had happened to all my newly bought books and school supplies. “Oh my God,” I wailed, reaching for the sopping straps. Everything was ruined. I touched one sodden, pulpy pile. “This textbook was eighty bucks!”

  “You disparage my aim?” the guy drawled.

  “You’re saying it’s my fault you tried to turn me into a human soda machine?” I snapped.

  “What the hell were you doing with all those drinks anyway?” Brandon demanded, using up the last of our table’s supply of napkins and starting anew with those swiped from the table next to us. Some nearby diners had pitched in to help stem the flood, and I felt carbonated beverage seeping into my underwear.

  “I get dehydrated,” said the guy. He craned his neck over my shoulder to look into my bag. “Look on the bright side: Your computer wasn’t in there. I’d say you got off lucky, Amy Haskel. This time, at least.”

  My mouth dropped open and my eyes shot to the collar of my assailant’s jacket, where a tiny, gold reptilian face leered. He turned and walked off before I could push away the hands that were wringing out my scarf and go running after him. Dragon’s Head! It was starting already?

  I rose and tried to follow him, but the move dislodged several wayward ice cubes that immediately found their way into my crotch. I attemp
ted a subtle jiggle (unsuccessful, I might add), and stopped walking, for fear the ice would shift left and press against spots even more sensitive than my inner thigh.

  “What an asshole,” Brandon said. “Look, let’s go. Our lunches are drenched, and you need some dry clothes.”

  I nodded, poured the excess liquid from my bag into a nearby cup, and let Brandon bus our trays of ruined food while I prayed for the ice to melt as quickly as possible.

  Of course, ice in my pants was the least of my problems. Even my gorgeous new camel coat—a Christmas present from my grandmother—was stained with starbursts of orange soda and…was that fruit punch? Great. Just great. I gingerly tried to slip my arms into the sleeves for the trip outside, but Brandon stopped me.

  “It’s too cold for you to go out all wet. Come on, we’ll get to my suite through the basement.”

  I followed him down into the tunnels that twisted below each residential college. This was where they kept all the goodies reserved only for their residents—everything from laundry rooms and student-run burger joints called “butteries” to bowling alleys and squash courts. We wound through the narrow, dimly lit hallways and I began to shiver.

  Wait until the other Diggers heard about this! And where was I supposed to find the funds to replace the sticky mess Dragon’s Head had made out of my course materials? I wondered if Rose & Grave had any kind of emergency scholarships for knights who were victims of another society’s taste for vengeance, since I couldn’t picture explaining to my parents what I’d done with this semester’s book money. And let’s not start on my coat.

  Ahead of me, Brandon stopped and turned. “Amy, you okay?”

  “Aside from the obvious?” I wrapped my arms tighter around my torso.

  I felt his fingers on my chin, and he tilted my face up to his. “Your teeth are chattering.”

  They were. I clenched my jaw. “I’m fine. Just cold.”

  He said nothing, just stared at me.

  Um, hello, cold? Maybe we should keep going until we get out of these tunnels? But I didn’t say that, because under his gaze, I didn’t feel chilly at all anymore. Nope. Downright warm.

  “Amy—” he whispered.

  I stepped back, and the—feeling, the moment, whatever it was—fell away. I hugged myself even harder, trying to quell the need to get close. “I could, um, really use some dry clothes right about now.”

  “Of course. Come on.” He put his hand on my shoulder to guide me up the stairs to his entryway. I could feel humid, sticky heat burning through the material of my sweater and deep into the flesh of my arm.

  The first time Brandon and I slept together had been Valentine’s Day, almost a year ago. There’d been none of that weird, first-time-with-a-new-girl fumbling on his part. Like I said: The guy was a natural. Such a natural, in fact, that I’d put up little resistance when he’d repeated the persuasion act several times over the next few months. But he’d wanted a real relationship, and I’d resisted. Logical as the Applied Math major was, he had a mental block regarding my deplorable girlfriend potential, probably because we got along so well as friends. And yet I had no problem with the sex; bed was the one place where all the Brandon/Amy equations balanced perfectly.

  He showed me into his unfamiliar suite and made a beeline for what I assumed was his bedroom. “I think I’ve got some spare sweats it wouldn’t embarrass you too much to wear,” he called back.

  “I appreciate you doing this for me.” I stood in the center of the room, recalling the odd bit of furniture and some of his posters from before. Though tempted, I tried not to touch anything. My fingertips were sticking together. My hair was plastered to the back of my neck. My soft, makes-my-eyes-green cashmere scarf was hopelessly destroyed. I also tried not to think about Brandon’s bedroom. Instead, I started making a list of what I’d do to Dragon’s Head. They wanted a war, they’d get one.

  As Poe was fond of saying, I had a way of making trouble for people.

  Brandon popped his head out of his room. “Do you want to hop in the shower first and wash some of the stickiness off?”

  I hesitated. “Maybe I should just run home…”

  “Don’t be silly. You’re still shivering. You’re not hiking all the way back to Prescott like that. It’s not a big deal.”

  “Getting in your shower isn’t a big deal?” And all the way back? It was a block and a half.

  “Well, it’s not like I’ll be there.” He checked his smile. “Is this too weird for you?”

  “No.” It wasn’t weird enough. I put my bag down and held out my hands. “Fine. Toss me some towels.”

  But I did little more than rinse. Brandon’s shampoo and soap smelled too familiar to risk; I remembered too many other showers, too many other afternoons spent smelling like him. I dried off and headed back to the suite, praying his suitemates wouldn’t see me in towels.

  The common room was empty, even of Brandon, but I saw that he’d cleaned out my bag and hung it to dry over the radiator. A pile of used paper towels sat next to a neat stack of my ruined textbooks. Beyond, his bedroom door was open, but I couldn’t see anyone inside. Perhaps he’d gone to a bathroom on another floor to wash his hands.

  I closed the door behind me and sat on his bed. I knew this comforter well. He’d laid out a worn Eli T-shirt and a pair of drawstring sweatpants for me to wear. I picked up the shirt and held the softness against my skin. Forgoing the soap had been a useless effort. His clothes smelled like him, too.

  And I’d have to wash them before I returned them, even though I’d only be wearing them for the trip back to my place. Not to get too blunt about it, but my underwear was in the same condition as the rest of my clothing: covered in soda. I had no choice but to go commando.

  I dressed, then stuffed my sticky outfit into an empty shopping bag. Shouldn’t he be back by now? As if on cue, there was a knock at the door. Brandon was always so polite.

  “Come in,” I called.

  Of course, it wasn’t Brandon. Felicity stopped dead on the threshold and gaped at me. In her boyfriend’s clothes. On her boyfriend’s bed. With my hair leaving wet rivulets all over her boyfriend’s shirt.

  This isn’t what it looks like is so cliché, but it’s the only phrase that popped into my head at the moment. Luckily, I was spared speaking it aloud, as Felicity regained her composure and asked, in a surprisingly reasonable voice, “Why, hello, Amy. Brandon around?”

  I rose. “I think he must be using a downstairs bathroom. I’m sure he’ll be right back.”

  And then, because the room didn’t seem large enough for both of us, I squeezed out into the common room. Felicity stood by the door, watching as I assessed the damage to my schoolbooks. “What happened?”

  “Some guy spilled a bunch of drinks on me at lunch.”

  “A bunch of drinks?” She raised her eyebrow. “How…odd.”

  Chick had no idea.

  Brandon returned to rescue me. “Lis,” he said, his eyes wide.

  Lis? What kind of nickname was that? Better than “Fell,” I suppose. And man, that was a guilty tone he was using. Curious. Brandon wasn’t the type to expect anyone else to see impropriety where he saw none.

  “Hi, sweetie.” Felicity crossed the room, placed her hands on his chest, and kissed him like she hadn’t seen him in months. “Amy was just telling me what happened to her. It’s so awful. Do you know who it was?”

  Brandon shook his head. “He’s not in Calvin. Amy, did you know him?”

  “No,” I said. But I knew where he could be found on Thursday and Sunday nights.

  “Sucks,” Felicity went on, moving closer to me. “You should try to track him down if you can. He should be forced to pay you for those books.” She toed at one of my stickier texts. “They’re unusable.”

  Thanks for the tip, bitch. Never would have figured that out myself.

  She straightened. “It was good to see you again, Amy. I just have a short break before my next class. I was hoping to duck in here a
nd take a nap.” She smiled at Brandon. “Maybe you could join me.”

  Brandon restrained his male hormones long enough to look momentarily taken aback by her audacity.

  I swallowed. “I have to get out of here anyway.”

  Felicity smiled, sweetly. “Of course.” Of course, because I’m the girlfriend here. Of course, because I’ve made the fact that you’re not welcome abundantly clear. You may have the sweatpants, but not their owner. Scat.

  I grabbed my still-damp bag and shoved my books inside. “Thanks for the clothes, Brandon. I’ll get them back to you ASAP.”

  “Amy, we haven’t even talked about these applications.”

  Or eaten lunch. “Rain check,” I insisted, and ran.

  I’m sure I hadn’t reached the ground floor before she had him in her clutches.

  I reported the soda dump to some Digger friends over pizza that night and basked in their appropriately appalled response. They vowed revenge, promised to protect me, and started up a pool to replace my books. We talked about letting Dragon’s Head know the location of their missing statue, lest this incident was only the opening volley in a full-scale war on me. I liked having it as an option, but if anything, their little game made me even more determined to stand my ground and protect Rose & Grave—with my body, my textbooks, and my new camel coat.

  Besides, there, in the bosom of my brothers, the whole affair seemed like a singular event, an isolated incident that would be immediately snuffed out now that the full weight of the society was bent on avenging the wrongs perpetrated against one of their own. Except, they couldn’t keep their eyes on me at all times, and it seemed as if whenever the Diggers weren’t watching, the Dragon’s Head members were. And thus, over the course of the next few weeks, we had as many failures as successes.

  The Eli Library suddenly reported that I owed fines in the thousands on library books whose due dates went back to my middle school days. Jenny Santos, computer whiz that she was, managed to fix the “problem,” but lo, when the hold on my lending privileges was lifted, I discovered that all of the volumes I’d reserved had mysteriously gone missing in the stacks. So much for my research paper.